Dear Max:

I have a very big problem. You, Max, always chase me.  If I’m lying near you, you run over and chase me. If I am walking past you, you chase me.  Sometimes I swat at you with my paws.  Sometimes I scream my loud cat scream.  No matter what I do, I can’t get you to stop chasing me. What can I do? Please help me!

Sincerely,

Whiskers Stutzbach, the cat

Dear Whiskers:

Well, Whiskers, there are a few ways to solve this problem. The first thing that you might want to do is tell our owner (a.k.a. the alpha) to stop saying, “Get the cat” whenever I pass by.  This would help you to make a quick getaway before I notice you.  The second thing that should help to solve this problem is to find something else for me to chase in your place such as a lizard, or say, a squirrel. Then maybe I won’t be so tempted to run after you and slather you with spit. Thanks for writing! 

Warmest Regards,

Max