This is by far the most famous car I have ever owned, famous at least in the town of Palmyra NJ where I grew up, at least part of my younger years.  This car was left to me when my Grandfather passed away.  My Falcon did look almost as good as this car.  It had a small dent in the driver's side quarter panel and a series of small scratches all over the car. It seems my Grandmother decided to use the snow shovel to clean the snow off the car since my Grandfather was unable to do it.  I hope this unfortunate event did not serve to hasten his passing.

My first Falcon mod was adding a good stereo.  This became my car legacy with my friends.  Installed a good stereo in almost every car i owned.  Often they said the stereo was worth more than the car.  All i know was that I really enjoyed good tunes in a car and the more bass the better.  I was way ahead of my time.  Now I listen to NPR.  Go figure.

I added an 8-Track under the passenger seat.  A very convenient location!  And a portent of my slant on car projects to come.  Not always very well thought out, but usually very interesting.  I installed 4 speakers in the kick panels and the rear package shelf.  It was a pretty good sound for the day.  Led Zepplin One and Four (was Stairway to Heaven on IV?) were my absolute favorites.  And although I am ashamed of it now I also was a big Chicago fan.  Perhaps this was because I played Trombone in the High School band.  And I have the pictures to prove it!

I was going away to college in a year and I convinced my patient parents that the car needed an overhaul before I used it as my sole means of transportation.  I would replace the motor and transmission to make sure I would have a reliable car.  Of course the 170 cubic inch 6 cylinder and automatic needed to be replaced with something more modern, like a 351 cubic inch V8 with a 4 speed manual Top Loader.  Yowza!  To this day I am not sure whether they were just letting me fool around with the car or actually believed my cockamamie story.

And so began my 9 month journey into hot rodding.  I had no idea what I was doing.  My friend Tom Z. had this 351 Cleveland four barrel with low miles.  Right out of a sick fast Mach 1 Mustang.  I jumped on it.  But when I arrived at the motor's location I found a 2 barrel Windsor.  Wow I am down 75 HP!  Strange as it may seem I knew what each of these engines looked like, but not in person.  I recognized them from pictures in the grease head magazines I read cover to cover each month.  But something said to me, "Buy it anyway".  So I did.  I found out later the wider Cleveland would not have fit as easily into the smallish Falcon engine bay.  Luck was with me.

I do not even remember how I got the motor home but I delivered that motor to my friend Roach's house.  (Roach?, his real name was Richard.)  For some reason my friend's parent's decided to let me use their back yard for my engine swap.  They had a big back yard with a nice big tree right in the middle of it.  It should only take a day or two.  I seemed like a nice boy.  About a month later they kicked me out.

Once I got the car home I finally got the engine to fit under the hood.  Through a number of minor miracles I collected a Mustang transmission and all the little bits and pieces needed to convert my automatic Falcon to a wild stick shifter.  Most of the stuff I bought fit, but only because I was very lucky.  I achieved a first name basis relationship with several of the south Jersey junk yard owners.

I did run into a few problems though.  The manifolds I bought would not fit in between the fenders.  So I removed the engine, for the third or fourth time at this point, and stooped over the engine bay with a big old sledge hammer. I banged on the side of the fenders until both side were flat.  Unfortunately I did not understand that these were suspension mounting points.  Even so, my work with the big hammer seemed to have no effect until I tried to pass inspection.

My next major blunder was the transmission.  I bought a Mustang 4 speed thinking this must be the same as a Falcon 4 speed.  No such luck!  Mush to my discouragement the shifter came right up through a chassis brace.  Well no problem for Mr. Mechanic.  I proceeded to saw through this brace and  presto!  Here was the shifter poking up through the floor.  But now there was no way to hold the transmission up since I cut out the cross bar bracket with my hacksaw.  I really had to think hard to solve this one.  After a while and a few sodas later I though up a solution!  I would mount the transmission by using U-bolts around the braces and drilling holes so the U-bolts poked up through the floor.

One unfortunate side effect of my transmission mod was that you could actually feel the car twist when you stood on the gas.  That didn't bother me too much.  One other unfortunate side effect of the transmission project was that while I was wrenching under the car my ratchet slipped and I split my lip wide open with the ratchet handle.  My Mom was super angry because of this since my High School picture was only a few days away.  The photographer did a lousy touch up job, this was before Photoshop, but I think it made me look tougher.

I think this project took me about a year to ruin a perfectly good 6 cylinder Falcon.  But now the car had so much more mojo!  And it was really fast!  Even though the 351 was only a two barrel, the falcon was so light that the car had some serious speed.  A standard engined GTO or Roadrunner was no match for my flexi-flyer.  My friends called it the Falcooney.  What a strange name for a strange car.  Also my project wound up costing me $1,800.00 my life savings and then some.  In fact, one of my friend Roach made up this song to no particular tune: "Eighteen hundred dollars! Eighteen hundred dollars! No one can believe he spent eighteen hundred dollars!"  And he would sing this over and over.  I guess you could say I had some strange friends.

I drove the Falcooney around for a while and it had a few teething problems.  I could not pass inspection because the front end was out of alignment.  Can you imagine that?  With a three hundred pound heavier engine and the six cylinder springs and the sledge hammer fender treatment?  Well I returned to the inspection station three times hoping that they would forget to put my car on the rack.  No such luck.  Finally I went back a fourth time with my tools and asked the guy which way the wheels were offset.  I then pulled up in the parking lot next door and proceeded to guess how much to move the adjusters then get back in line.  On this afternoon there was no line and guys at the station got a nice laugh from efforts. I think it was on the third try that my front end was close enough for government work and the guy gave me a pity pass.  Wow, I was so proud, a legal car!  Of course it never occurred to me that a mechanic might be able to help my front end problems.  Some time later when my car did reach a shop I was told the ball joints were so bad they were ready to fall apart. There was an angel on my shoulder.  And now the car almost tracked straight instead of wandering back and forth in my lane. 

Because the alignment of the transmission and the rear were not spot on I went through driveshaft U-joints every few weeks or so.  I got so good at replacing them I could do both ends in under an hour.  At some point the six cylinder rear gave out.  This was really no big shocker, even to me.  When I first put Falcooney on the road the back tires were still studded snow tires.  The motor heads will know that this is not the optimal traction set up.  I felt so cool that I could spin the tires all the way through first and second gear.  Eventually I took so much razzing from the police about scratching up the pavement near my house I finally bought a set of descent tires and some chrome rims.  Unfortunately these tires had a bit more traction than the studded snows and the six rear lasted about two weeks.

I did the right thing and went back to the bone yard and bought a V8 rear.  Of course this rear used 5 bolt rims and I had to shelve my rear chrome reverse 4-bolt rims for some cooler looking slotted rims.  After I spent some time realigning the transmission with the new rear (by adjusting those now famous U-bolts) my U-Joints were lasting much longer.  You could almost call the car reliable!

For about two weeks I drove Falcooney problem free.  I was joyful.  Did I mention the police before?  During this time they got to know Falcooney real well as my street racing was hitting full swing.  I never did get a ticket though due to my incredible luck and some quick exits from the scene of the crime(s).  I surprised a few quicker cars, Falcooney had a ton of torque.  And actually beat a few of the so-called muscle cars of the day.  I did take Falcoony to Front Street (Big time Philly racing) a few times but We were out of our league there.  But I was very proud of my little white sleeper beast.

I spent most of my time with Falcooney parked by the tracks in downtown Palmyra.  This is where all the hard guys and motor heads hung out.  I was in my glory.  My ride was well respected as as "decent" ride and I though perhaps the girls found me a little more attractive thanks to my little white beauty.  I was a legend in my own mind.  Haven't we all been there?

Then one day I traded rides with my friend Larry.  Larry had a blue 1966 Impala SS 396 that was not all that fast (Falcooney would smoke it) but very cool.  I drove his car and he drove mine fro the afternoon.  It was getting to be dinner time and I looked all over for him.  Finally I drove by the High School and there was Falcooney in the middle of the road.  Not going anywhere!  Larry had a worried look on his face.  Soon he was busted.  Somehow (and he could never tell me how he did it) he twisted the front input shaft of the transmission clean off.  When you put the car in gear and let out the clutch the car would shake, make loud thumping sounds, and not move at all.

Dropping the transmission in an hour or so (I was getting good at this too, and not split lips!) the problem was easy to spot.  The once extremely thick strong looking front shaft of the transmission was twisted into two pieces.  Perhaps my transmission alignment was less than desirable, but how could you do something like this without a 700 horsepower engine and racing slicks?  Larry never told me how this happened.  But he did pay for the transmission rebuild.

I called a transmission shop and asked how much to rebuild a top loader Ford 4-speed?  About $130 give or take was his answer.  Apparently a sheared off input shaft was take!  I eventually dropped it off and the guy didn't even look at it,  "Come pick it up next Monday" was all he said.  Next Monday I showed up with $130 and the guy was really POed.  "You didn't tell me about the input shaft!"  I put on my scared face.  He softened and said "Well son I am as good as my word, I'll take the $130, but I am really getting burnt on this job."  I thanked him profusely but I thought to myself "I'll bet it all averages out". That doesn't make any sense now, but I remember thinking that and it made me feel better.

One day my Mom and Dad sat me down and said "Son I do not think this car is the right car for you to take to college.  And furthermore we are not sure all you were trying to do was to make the car more reliable".  Now I was busted and heart broken.  But Falcooney had to go.

My friend Willard loved Falcooney too.  And in fact when I said I was going to put it up for sale he jumped at the chance.  How much?  Why listen to the song.... $1,800.  My original investment in Falcooney.  Of course I wound up spending more than that over time.  This was borrowed money from my parents.  So selling Falcooney would net me only about $1,000.  Well had so much fun and me and Falcooney made so many memories together.  Bye Falcooney!

Of course I was honest with Willard about my mechanically challenged abilities.  "No problem, I am going to take your car to a new level" he said.  He meant what eh said.  I went over his house a few weeks later and he had car parts all over his living room.  New Crager mags, headers, cam, manifold, Holley 4 barrel.  And he was sending Falcooney out to a professional to get the transmission mounting fixed and strengthen up the chassis.  He was taking out the famous U-bolts!  I think Willard got all this money from his Grandfather passing away if I remember correctly.  The money made Willard very happy, I am sure Willard's Grandfather would be pleased.  I was so happy Falcooney went to a good home.  Eventually I lost touch with Willard and that little white Falcon.  But a happy ending.

My parents went out and bought a red Fury III 4 door sedan to replace the 1968 Fury III that was now in a garage in our house in Florida.  We were moving to Florida just as soon as I graduated High School.  As we left Palmyra on our way to Florida the red Plymouth became my car.  It had some character maybe, but it was no Falcooney. 

Fury, what a great name for a car.  The name invokes a sense of wild anger, a car perhaos capable of breathtaking speed.  Of course the little 318 in my Fury made it somewhat less than furious.  I think all the passion this car could muster might just be a little aggravation.  With this engine fury was not possible.  But even with the 318 Plymouth still had the nerve to call it a Fury.  It was a little embarassing.